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Next update: 02/10/2010

Banzai Sluts

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Short review: The Asian ladies at Banzai Sluts may be bitty and young but they have a craving for hard and giant Willies. You will not find any pale-skinned cuties from the Far East since the majority of the females have dark complexions. Some have hirsute lovely holes while others have shaved snatches. While the website is presented by Jewel Denyle, the Asian pornceleb does not appear herself.

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Gary Condit quit politics and got a job at KFC. Why did they fire him?
He couldn't keep his hands off the legs and breasts.
A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover's Lane. When they get up there, she says, "I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker." The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it's okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they start having sex. After they finish, the guy says, "I have to be honest with you now. I'm a cab driver and it'll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town."
What's the difference between a hooker, a nymphomaniac, and a sorority sister?
The hooker says, "Are you done already?"
The nympho says, "Oh no! You're not done already!?"
The sorority sister says, "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Did you hear about the man that was born with both sexes?
He had a dick and a brain!
How are lawyers like whores?
They both get paid to screw people.
There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton of money off the stock market and decided to retire to a ranch in Montana. One day he was out in his front yard planting some flowers when he sees dirt flying up behind a truck. The truck pulls into his driveway and a famer gets out of his truck.
"Hi, my name is Bob. I'm your neighbor. I live about five miles away and I came to invite you to a party I am having tonight."
"What kind of a party is it?" asks the stockbroker.
"Oh, we're going to do a little dancing, a little fighting, a little eating, little drinking, and a little screwing."
"That sounds great,' said the stockbroker. "What should I wear?"
"I don't care," said Bob. "It's just gonna be the two of us."
An older woman always carries a purse full of emergency supplies. Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster.
A newly married hillbilly couple decided they wanted children, but didn't know how to go about it. Questions and conversations with friends and relatives proved no help, until a neighbor said they should go to town and ask the Big City Doctor. The doctor let them look at a child's book about where babies came from, but to no avail. He tried his own explanation but was met with blank stares. Exasperated, he took them to his private office, and showed them a porno movie. This was also useless. Angrily, he ordered the girl to strip, told the man to watch, and had sex with her on the couch.
"Now, do you understand?" he asked.
"I just have one question. How many times a week do I have to bring her in for this?"
Q: what does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: an Italian suppository.
Q. How is sex like bridge?
A.If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand!
02/08/2010
Q: What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it to you.
"I heard you."
Really means... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I'm hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next days yelling at me."
Q: who makes a blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: free-to-lay.
Q: what is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A: a toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means... "The batteries in the remote are dead."
A guy complains to his doctor that his sex life is deteriorating rapidly.
The doctor tells him he needs to reintroduce some excitement, unexpected lust, passion and so on into the process. He ponders this for a few days and hatches a plan.
"Well," he says to the doctor, "I did everything you suggested. The boss let me leave work an hour early. I sped home leaving rubber all over the road. I skidded all the way up the driveway (after I'd cleaned up the mail box). I slammed the door, charged into the house and found Sheila in the living room. I stripped her naked and we went to it, hammer and tongs, on the coffee table!"
"And did you enjoy it!?" asked the doctor enthusiastically.
"Well," says the guy slowly and thoughtfully, "No, but the Bible group thought it was pretty neat!"
One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.
The first lady had a stroke, the second one had a stroke, and the third one's arm was too short to reach.
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"
Q. What do lesbians cook for dinner?
A. They don't. They eat out!
02/07/2010
How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing
An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Two hookers were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said, "TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that moment, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." The hookers asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, "Well, that's a little different, it pertains to religion." So the two ladies took their sign down and drove off.
The following day the same cop in the area noticed the two ladies driving aound with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read, "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER -- $50.00."
What did one undertaker say to the other?
Pass me another cold one!
What do you call a horny skeleton?
A boner!
Why don't witches wear undies?
To get better grip on their brooms.
"Doctor, everytime I sneeze I have an orgasm!"
"Are you doing anything for it?"
"Snorting pepper."
Q: what's 5 miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: a blonde parade.
Q: how does a blond kill a fish?
A: she drowns it.
Q: what do blondes do with their assholes in the morning?
A: pack their lunch and send them to work.

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