Penisbot.com Jokes

Ever since the...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:40 +0100

Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble with the law for underage drinking, the President has lectured them constantly about the evils of alcohol. His daughters were tired of having the same conversation week after week, so they finally said, "Okay daddy, we understand about drinking already, but you've never talked about to us about sex."
Getting very upset, W. chided the twins: "Young ladies, we do not use that dirty four-letter word in our home!"

A man comes...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:39 +0100

A man comes home from work and finds his wife screwing his cousin in the closet.
"What the hell are you doing?!" the man asks.
"I'm riding a bus," his cousin replies.
"That's a stupid thing to say!"
"That's a stupid thing to ask!"

One day there...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:38 +0100

One day there were two boys playing by a stream when they saw a woman bathing naked. All of a sudden one of the boys took off running. The other boy took off after his friend. After he caught up to him, he asked why he ran away.
"Well," the boy said, "my mom told me that if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard so I ran."

Q. Why can't...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:37 +0100

Q. Why can't Bill Clinton work at KFC?
A. He can't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.

Q: what does...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:36 +0100

Q: what does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: her ankles.

What do you...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:35 +0100

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Use more lube.

An old farmer...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:34 +0100

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs screwing up a storm. He would get turned on by this and try to get back to the house in time to screw his wife -- but he always got soft before he got there. So one day, he took his hatchet and headed out to the pig pen.
"No!" said his wife. "Don't kill those pigs!"
"I'm not going to kill them. I'm moving the pen closer to the house."

Q: how many...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:33 +0100

Q: how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: blondes screw in back seats, not in lightbulbs, silly.

Q: What's rough...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:32 +0100

Q: What's rough and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside, starts with a c, ends with a t, and has a u and an n in it?
A: A coconut.

A husband and...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:16:31 +0100

A husband and wife are watching "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," and the husband winks and says, "Honey, let's go upstairs..."
The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no.
So the husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says yes.
The husband says, "Well, can I phone a friend?"